Before I became a parent, there are some things I was definitely not looking forward to. Let’s get real here, kids can be sticky, disgusting messes. They always seem to be covered in either snot, food, or some sort of questionable substance. They will burp or fart at the drop of a hat, and while I secretly find this humorous, it doesn’t make for the best dinner company. My oldest son is a prime example – we will be eating at a restaurant, he will lean over to one side, mouth full of food and loudly announce, “POOOOOPOOOOO, CAAAACAAAA!”
Some people find this endearing, others, not so much.
I can also honestly say, I was most certainly not looking forward to wiping someone else’s butt. I once had to wipe a five-year old’s butt before I had children of my own. I gagged the entire time. I even debated whether motherhood was for me. I get shivers just thinking about it.
There are other things I never thought I would look forward to. Oddly enough…I was wrong.
1. A blowout.
If your infant has ever been constipated, then you’ve experienced torture first-hand. Hell hath no fury like a newborn who is literally filled with crap. The worst part about the whole experience, is realizing there is nothing you can do for them, other than hope it passes quickly. When the poo finally does come to pass, it usually makes its grand entrance with a blowout. If this was any other child, I would be completely grossed out. However, when it’s my little bundle of joy, I’m thrilled. That’s right, thrilled. For example, earlier this week, Emmett hadn’t pooped all morning – which is completely abnormal for him (This kid is a human poop factory. If the world ever has a shortage on fertilizer, he will be able to replenish the earth’s supply single-handedly). I was starting to get a little concerned, until I went to pick him up out of his crib after his afternoon nap. It was a poopapalooza. Normally, I would be less than pleased about having to clean up all this fecal matter, but when I saw my child squeal with delight, I couldn’t help but smile. He was no longer in pain, and in that moment, I was thankful for the blowout.
2. Waking up at 2:00am.
Before you think I’m a complete nut job, I don’t necessarily look forward to being woken up out of my deep slumber at 2:00 in the morning. What I look forward to, is that sweet, smushy face waiting for me in the next room. When my toddler is teething, I will walk in to his bedroom and I am greeted with, “Hi mommy. Hold you baby.” Heart. Melted. I pick him up and we sit down in his rocking chair. The minute he snuggles in to my neck, all tiredness fades away. How on earth did I get so lucky to be this kid’s mom? Out of everyone on this planet, he wants ME to comfort him. That alone makes it all worth it.
3. Never being alone.
The minute they step on the scene, children will rob you of many things. They will take all your money, your bikini clad bod, and even your brain power (please refer to ‘8 Reasons Why I Need Brain Camp’). However, one of the first things to go: your alone time. Being an only child, I have always been a fan of having some “me” time. I recharge best when I’ve had the chance to spend some time by myself. So imagine my surprise when I felt strangely sad the afternoon I decided to make a Target run independent of my miniature humans. Yes, of course I was able to glide through the aisles with ease, and I absolutely stopped to get a coffee before trying on a pair of shoes; but I sincerely missed my people. I have found that whether I’m running a quick errand or going out for a meal, I prefer the company of my husband and small army of children. Sure, it may be more work, but I wouldn’t pass up those memories for anything. After all, I only get these little treasures for 18 years.
4. Staying in on a Saturday night.
I used to loathe staying in on the weekend. The thought alone made me feel so lame. Now that we have two children under two, I LOVE spending my Saturday night curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and an awesome flick on the tube. I’m not sure if it has to do with my age, mindset, or the fact that I’m a mom; but either way, I get genuine pleasure out of being a couch potato.
Never did I ever think I would look forward to the actual action of labor and delivery. Of course, everyone is excited when a baby is born; but I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say they couldn’t wait to push a bowling ball out of their vagina. As crazy as it may be, I have never felt more empowered than when the doctor comes in and tells me to push. Bringing life in to this world is completely exhausting and down right painful, but it’s also incredibly amazing. The fact that my own will-power and strength, given the right set of circumstances (I’m aware that things happen that can keep people from physically not being able to delivery vaginally), is the only thing standing between me and holding my newborn in my arms, is a power I have never known. No matter how you become a mom, I consider anyone who has gone through labor, a superhero disguised as a milk-covered, hormone-seeping, sleep-deprived mother.
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