When I reentered the blogging world, the idea sprang from a dear friend of mine, suggesting that I share my baking endeavors with the world wide web. At the time, I was searching for anything to fulfill my urgent need to reclaim some sort of identity outside of being a mommy. Blogging seemed like the perfect outlet; and since I was already baking multiple times a week, why not put my laboring over scrumptious desserts in to print?
Truthfully, I wasn’t anticipating on this turning in to an opportunity to share my testimony and journey with Christ. It wasn’t even until a few weeks after my first post, that I recalled a prophesy that was spoken over my life a few years ago; and I have decided to step out in faith on it.
In 2012, I was working at a financial agency in Downtown Fort Worth. During my time with the company, a small group of us put together a weekly Bible study where we would all meet in the company’s conference room before the work day started. As I have mentioned before, I usually always have a journal handy. At the time, I carried around a specific journal with me daily, accompanied with a book and my new Bible. I would like to say that I can recall the specific date that this occurred, but to be honest, I can’t. I only remember the events.
One morning, after our Bible study had concluded, I proceeded to my desk with my belongings – journal in hand. As I was getting my area prepared for the day’s workload, a fellow coworker approached my desk. It was an individual that had also been attending our weekly studies; someone who was much further along in their walk with Christ than I was. This particular person didn’t know me in-depth. We had conversed on many different occasions, but just ask the people closest to me, I am not the easiest person to get to know. I tend to keep to myself, in regards to personal details. The only reason why my best friend is my best friend, is because she practically forced her friendship on me (just kidding – but seriously). So when he opened his mouth to address me, I was in no way prepared for what he was about to share.
It went a little something like the following: “I hope you don’t think this is strange, but when you came in to the conference room this morning with your journal, I noticed it immediately. It was glowing. During our Bible study, the Holy Spirit kept urging me to speak to you. I think you have something to share. Like you have experienced something and God wants to use it in a way for you to reach other women.”
Just so you know, I was completely captivated at this point, and no longer needing a second cup of coffee. I had never been prophesied over in my life. Seeing as I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation to begin with, I did not foresee the direction this was going.
“I don’t know how to say this, but have you had an abortion?” (Okay, now I’m floored and I am pretty sure my jaw was on the ground.) If you know me at all, then I shouldn’t have to tell you that my response was a simple an auditory, “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” He then responded with, “What about a miscarriage?”
I froze. Even now as I am writing this, my heart is practically beating out of my chest. What could possibly have led him down this rabbit hole? We went from my journal to miscarriage in less than five minutes.
I didn’t need to respond; he already knew the answer. While I tend to be a rather guarded individual, my emotions are often written all over my face. He said, “I think God wants you to use your experience as a way to reach out to other women. I don’t know if that means you are going to write a book, I just know that your journal was glowing. I think you have a story to tell.”
That was it. The entire encounter could not have lasted longer than 10 minutes.
My “dream job”, next to being a mother, has always been to be a writer. Ironically, I am not the best at verbalizing how I feel; but sit me down with a pen and paper or a computer, and my brain practically falls out on to the page. This isn’t something that I have shared with most. In fact, I have shared that fun fact about myself less than I have shared mine and my husband’s unfortunate news about our miscarriage. So how on earth could this random colleague know some of the deepest personal details of my life?
One word: Jesus.
Three years later, here we are. I am not a New York Times Bestseller (trust me, I already checked the list), and you can’t find me in a bookstore (although, I wouldn’t be upset if you could). I am just an individual setting out to fulfill a calling that was spoken over my life. Trying to utilize a gift in a way to encourage and inspire others, especially women, to walk confidently in their current season of life. Our Pastor spoke about this on Sunday; he calls it “finding the sweet spot of your Christian life”. This is where you use your gifting for God’s glory.
It has taken me a long time to step outside of my comfort bubble and share with the world some of my most vulnerable moments; but if my life’s testimony can even bring one person to Jesus, then I will consider myself successful.
So, I will leave you with this challenge, how are you going to use your gifts and talents to glorify God today?
“In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”
Romans 12:6-8 NLT