A few weeks ago, after one ridiculously exhausting morning – filled with multiple wardrobe changes due to projectile spit ups, and toddler tantrums galore – I greeted our daily nap time with open arms and an uncorked bottle of wine. After downing a glass of one tasty red blend (don’t you dare cast your judgey stones at me – my kids sleep for almost three hours every afternoon), I went to my bedroom and leaped onto our bed with classic belly flop form. As I nestled into my squishy pillow, I thought to myself, “Man I am so glad I don’t work outside of the home. I mean, how the heck do working moms do it??” (Seriously though, how do you do it? To me, you are an underpaid, overworked, superhuman freak, who manages to get dressed every day AND speaks full sentences to other people.)
Moments after that, I thought, “Oh my gosh…I should blog about this.” Blogging has
ruined spiced up my life. Every time something happens, I guarantee I have played through a potential blog post.
I didn’t want to just blog about this though, I wanted to spread the message with another mama; a mama who serves in the trenches of motherhood front and center of the workforce. Immediately, my new bloggy friend, Jennifer from The Champagne Supernova, popped into my head. This gal is seriously fabulous. Not only is she a working mother, she’s got two precious toddlers, and rocks a blog in her “spare” time.
After reaching out and sharing my thoughts on a mommy letter exchange, Jennifer graciously agreed to partner up and promote our unity on this chaotic, imperfect, sticky-covered train, called parenthood. Check out Jennifer’s post HERE.
To Jennifer’s point, if you have some sort of social media account, you will more than likely see an article on your feed along the lines of, Mommy Wars: SAHM vs Working Mom, Mommies Unite: Down with judging, or Stay-at-home moms: Stop pretending you’re better. Signed, working moms. Can you say drama?
So why is this post any different? Maybe it isn’t…in fact, it probably isn’t different at all. Sue me – ain’t no need to reinvent the wheel. I’m just trying to show some love to all the mommy warriors out there.
Earlier this summer, PopSugar Moms published two posts – What Not to Say to a Working Mom and Things You Should Never, Ever Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom.
Fort starters, I found them amusing. They weren’t overly cleverly – they were actually pretty straight forward, but the memes…oh my gosh, the memes. Please go read those articles, if only to laugh at the memes.
Next, I thought, shouldn’t this be common knowledge, much less, common courtesy? Do we really need articles that tell us what not to say to one another?
Interestingly enough, I found quite a few similarities between the two. Proof that whether you stay at home, work at home, or work outside of the home, we are all in the same dang boat. Want to know what that boat is called? MOTHERHOOD. So guess what girlfriend, when you see a fellow sister drowning in the seas of toddler tantrums and hormonal mood swings, you better throw her a life saver, because we are all in this together.
Still don’t believe me? Well, here are just a few of the examples that I found in both articles that demonstrate our likeness no matter which parenting hat you’ve chosen to wear:
SAHM to WM: I wish I could get away from my kids for the day.
WM to SAHM: I wish I could lounge around in sweatpants all day.
I can see both moms reading those sentences and thinking, “Yeah…me too.” Just because I wear sweatpants daily, does not mean I am “lounging” by any means. I dub my body with sweatpants on the reg, because I roll around on the floor all day, chase my two-year old around the house, and don’t want to stain my “nice” clothes with breast milk and baby food. You may “get away” from your kids all day, but answering phone calls, attending meetings, and wearing pantyhose hardly sounds like a vacation. Let’s call this one what it is, an unrealistic notion.
SAHM to WM: But your husband is so successful.
WM to SAHM: Your husband must do very well if you don’t need the extra income.
Did I miss something? I thought this was the 21st century. Since when did we decide that what our husband’s do with their careers determines what we do with ours? Some how we have managed to trick our brains in to believing that the reason why each mom has chosen how they rock motherhood is based on their spouses success…or lack-there-of. Do I need to continue, or are you tracking with me on how ridiculous the above statements are?
SAHM to WM: I’d feel too guilty.
WM to SAHM: I’d feel so unfulfilled.
Why on earth are we projecting our own issues onto each other?? There is a reason why each of us do what we do, and that’s because we are all DIFFERENT. Just because the lady down the street puts on a suit and is out the door before 7:00am during the week, and you wear last nights pajamas to the dinner table on a regular basis, doesn’t mean the other mom should be carrying around some sort of negative guilt over the motherhood path they have picked. So swallow those insecurities and try tossing out some pearls of wisdom next time.
When it comes down to it, I’ve got mad respect for the working mom. On the days that I manage to shower AND get dressed before my children wake up, I could happily call it a successful day and be okay with that. Honestly, every mom impresses me in some shape or form. We are seriously a breed of human whose talent is unmatched.
So let’s give each other a break and lend one another a hand.
From this stay at home mom to the working moms, mommy on you rockstar you! I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine.
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